Mycology Seminar - Class Six [Tuesday Evening, 16th of December]

[tolpen]

This evening the class is delayed by five minutes (approximately). It is because a very officially looking paper – that is torn from a notebook and hastily written on in nearly unintelligible lettering, which is a true mark of authenticity it comes from a lecturer and the information is important, rather than the official letterhead of the Benthic admin which a) is very easy to forge, b) is usually bullshit reminding you of tuition fees anyway – informs you that today’s Selected Chapters from Practical Mycology are moved to Laboratory 11, and furthermore that the classroom is currently in use for Dental Ablutions 201. By the sounds of muffled explosions from within, DA201 is indeed there and will be there for a while.
Laboratory 11 turns out to be a bit further down the hall. You’ve probably passed by it on your way to the classroom and now have to backtrack. It is easily recognisable by a brass plaque that has been edited several times (currently most of the information is inscribed upon paper glued over the brass).

Benthic Department of Cryptomycology Subterranean Mycology Laboratory XI

Authorised personel only Nur Mitarbeiter N'y pense même pas EYE PROTECTION MANDATORY PAST THIS POINT

There is a helpful basket of goggles to borrow, in case somebody doesn’t have their own. You are studying practical mycology, everyone would expect you to have your own goggles. Everyone would also expect you to be scatterbrained and forget them in your other lab-coat. Or maybe something ate them, you know how some slime moulds are.

Beyond the door is a standard laboratory, clean white space smelling of disinfection, acid, acetone, alcohol and an absolutely abysmal amount of academic abuse. Highly unusual for a mycology lab is the lack of fungi anywhere. Instead it seems that every horizontal surface is covered in wine bottles. The labels have been torn off and instead the neck of each bottle bears a handwritten tag.
The Soft-Eyed Mycologist does not fit well into this place. Not due to spatial limitations – there is plenty of room, the lab has been designed to hold a lot of large stationary objects, all of which are currently missing except for an empty terrarium in a corner – but because he is the dirtiest thing in the room. At least his lab coat is. At some point it had been white cotton. Probably. But definitely not after it had been singed, chewed on, bled on and dragged through… well, whatever it was, it was colourful.
Then again, this is a practicing mycologist who has been put to the steering wheel of this part of your education. For a change he looks the part to the T.

“Today I wanted to change up the pace, because listening to me laying down the theory for you can become unbearable after a few hours. Thus, today is purely practical, and I suppose a bit of a breather. Unless you overdo it, in which case breathing is overrated.”
He smiles brightly, although not all that softly, as he elaborates: “As the Famoso Doctor Paracelsus claimed, poison is in the dose. Please, welcome to the tasting course! I’ve spent the past couple of days extracting toxins and other physiologically active substances from various fungi all around the Neath, or at least for some I’ve found sufficient substitutions. We are entirely out of false parasol extract at the moment, you can thank Professor Guildenstern for that. Left half of the laboratory are toxins, labelled by the fungus of origin. The right half of the laboratory,” he makes a sweeping gesture behind him, nearly knocking some of the bottles over, “are antidotes, labelled by their actual names. Several of them have more than one name, I had limited myself to writing down the three most common at most.”
A clap of the Mycologist’s hands snaps your attention back to him – no tippling in quite yet: “In the wild nearly all fungi toxins have a delayed time of showing symptoms. Usually in hours, but there are extreme cases such as the marrow amanita. I have managed to circumvent this with… a lot of work and several more esoteric fixatives. Because of that I would ask you all not to sample more than four times, as none of the antidotes present can fix your kidneys and liver experiencing seven years in the span of four seconds. It is not going to kill you permanently and it is a death-reversible effect, but it is one of the least entertaining ways to visit the silent river. Not to mention the cleanup is… an unique experience which I personally do not wish to repeat.

You still do not avoid a lecture, although it is a much shorter one. Now that you are actively learning about what various types of mushroom poisonings look like, you can now spot them easily – or at least you are supposed to – in yourself, your family, neighbours, guests, whoever you encounter. So why not throw some first aid while we are at it?
After all, a practical mycologist finds themself often in the field where there is no doctor of medicine for miles and a hint of civilisation is as distant as the Sun. (‘What about the surface?’ Well, you can see the Sun there, but try getting to it. The analogy is perfect.) Often you are going to be alone or at best in pairs.
(Fortunately the Mycologist remembers this is a mycology class and you are only half-listening, so you hear more about heat-strokes, anaphylactic shocks and transports of an injured body rather than improvised barber-surgery. Still, you are glad there isn’t a slideshow for this.)
Since your teacher is on the prowl among you, checking for anything going wrong (You are taking diluted poisons by spoonfuls. What could possibly go wrong? He must be paranoid.), it is easier than ever today to have a word with him in the false privacy between the desks and bottles.

After two hours you can stumble out of the classroom with a poison-induced hangover. But you’ve certainly been educated.

Comments

Sign In

[tolpen]

The ledger is right of the door, on a desk.

Re: Sign In

[ticktopis_observatorium]

The Chimeric Professor enters the-

Wait.

Hmm... This looks promising.

Swift relocation.

The Chimeric Professor enters Laboratory XI! Neatly registered first on the Sign-In line.

Re: Sign In

[the_maven_and_the_devil]

After being a bit turned around, the Soft-Hearted Maven and the Brash Devil made their way to the lab. Unlike last time, the two came in together. They signed the ledger, whispering and giggling at a shared joke.

Before Class

[tolpen]

There is somewhat less space to mingle in the laboratory, but then again, you don't have to be inside to talk to your classmates.

Re: Before Class

[the_maven_and_the_devil]

Unlike last class, the Soft-Hearted Maven and the Brash Devil came in together. They also both seemed to be in much better moods than two weeks prior. They were still a bit more mellow, as if still tired and worn from whatever was going on in their life. But they were sharing glances and smiles with each other, whispering things that elicited little laughs, and were walking hand-in-hand like in class two.

The eagle-eyed among the class might notice that they both now have matching rings on their left ring fingers.

Re: Before Class

[ticktopis_observatorium]

The Professor approached the happy couple with open arms (yet not too open, one wouldn't want to break anything here) and a wide smile, their tail's many tips flicking in all directions.

"Greetings, my lovely dears. I see you two happier today, such a joy." Then their eyes went towards their hands, and with wide-open eyes, they add. "Much much happier, I see! Should I...?"

'Give my congratulations' is what was left unsaid. But just in case, they'd want confirmation that there is 100% what it seems no downsides or side-notes.

Re: Before Class

[theubiquitousguest]

The Guest seemed a touch... different today. He wore a simple shirt and vest with a lovely tie that made it ever so easy for the eyes to glance right over the face, not questioning a thing (except for the sudden urge to yawn). His hair seemed a bit shaggier, curlier, perhaps even longer? It was hard to tell, with the way it was fixed in place, combined with the way he kept his head low disguising just what was different about it.

He filled out his clothes just a little more, rose just a few inches taller than memory served, though he held himself in such a way that he seemed small in stature, if not in actual bredth. He almost looked sick and wary in expression. And he worked so incredibly hard to be as out of sight as possible, not meeting anyone's gaze, barely looking around the room, the colors of his clothes perfect for blending into the basement lab.

Except they weren't in the basement lab, were they?

Re: Before Class

[ticktopis_observatorium]

The Chimeric Professor today looked radiant! Possitively showing off like a scaly peacock:

Their hair has grown as long as they are tall, each individual lock showing a different color from root to end, so delicately braided as if to form multiple hued rainbows. Their tail received a similar treatment, the tip split in seven and each one showing a differently colored pattern of scales. All of this contrasting deeply with the rest of the body, having now chosen a predominantly black coloration, a gradient that becomes lighter around the softer scales, giving an obsidian-like sheen to their body. Oh, were they not dressed one could witness a true work of art.

And, despite this, their movement isn't impeded in the slightest. The hair braids and contracts on its own to prevent any bother, and the tail is more useful than cumbersome, even in a tight space filled with fragile and dangerous bottles.

It seems the Mycologist has prepared quite the interesting class today. And they have come to enjoy it! Quite in their element, within this lab and provided with deadly substances. Playing with death under a doomed countdown? Yes please!

Re: Before Class

[theliedpiper]

Piper was doing... fine. All things considered.

They walked through the Is as if it were the dream, and not the other way around. "Distracted" wasn't quite the right word. That would imply they were focusing on something, rather than Nothing.

(Coward, not thinking about it. Forgetting. Perhaps the memories will be gone again by the time Piper turns to look at them. But this in-between state is better than falling back in.)

If anyone wants to talk to them, they'll accept an actual distraction. They'd prefer not to lie point-blank about how they're doing, though, if they can help it. Is it too much to hope no one will ask?

Re: Before Class

[emeraldqueen]

The Cackling Authoress finds the closest equivalent to her customary seat as she can in this new room. Although writing her essay-narrative took a lot out of her, the following two weeks gave time for the dust to settle. Now that every thought was so thoroughly catalogued and set to paper, the whole messy ordeal seemed so much clearer. Simpler. Not healed, and certainly not forgiven, but at least not so tumultuous anymore.

Settling into place, she begins to examine the bottles in front of her. Antidotes? She recognizes a few from when she and the Genial Mad Scientist were testing the efficiency of his new livers. Antidotes to some nasty poisons indeed! They needed to shove multiple antidotes down his throat with great urgency! …Actually, that was not a very good day at all. He had left the laboratory seeming far more chipper than she felt, which was ironic, considering that he was the one who had been choking on vial after vial of fast-acting poison. The Authoress fiddles with the tag around one of the bottles as she considers whether this class’s activity will force her to put on a repeat performance of that day.

Talk to the Teacher

[tolpen]

Since there is not much of a lecture today, if you want, you can bother the man who is directing this class.

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[ticktopis_observatorium]

After some inspection of the toxins in display and taking some notes to plan a sampling by taste and effect, the Professor approached the Mycologist with gleaming eyes. A very unwise and unadvisable idea was about to be born behind those slitted pupils.

"My dear you are a genius! Your chronological modifications to these toxins are... Well, most of all inspiring! I think I have an idea for our shared project due to a certain Game. What about... A Deadly, and I mean Definitely Deadly poison with its time tampered so it only has effect in, let's say, a week? A month perhaps? So the victim is perfectly aware and warned of how much time they have left. Unless they take the antidote, conveniently in the form of yet another kind of deadly -lowercase d- poison that they can have only when a certain request is met..."

"Like, perhaps, partaking in some of the Game patron's less common experiments, for example the embalming process, having to get as close to death as possible before dying temorarily avoiding thus dying for good. What do you think? Could it be done?"

... What?

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[the_maven_and_the_devil]

At one point the Maven and Devil approached the Mycologist, Maven speaking first, "Excuse me, could I ask you something? It's... not actually related to the class, so I can wait until after class is over. I just thought perhaps I'd get my question out of the way beforehand..."

As she spoke, her right hand fiddled nervously with a new ring on her left hand.

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[emeraldqueen]

Despite having shown up to every class, and most of the time being early, the Authoress has never spoken to the professor once. Now, though, she has a mission in mind, and when the Authoress has a mission, she is set on it.

“Excuse me?”

She approaches him quietly, when his path between the benches takes him away from most of the other students.

“May I ask a question of you? It’s a little bit strange, but…” she begins, downplaying what she knows to be a ridiculous request. She wrings her hands, gathering the words. “May I ask somebody who is not enrolled to participate today?”

Hoping to pique the Mycologist’s scientific curiosity, she explains, “He is a fellow Benthic scientist, who works in between the Departments of Additive Surgery and the Correspondence. At the moment, he’s in his laboratory testing some augmentations which should increase his resistance to poison, which means that he should be doing something very similar to this class activity right now.”

Hoping to pique the Mycologist’s sympathy, she adds, “The last time he tried, he almost killed himself—” Best not to mince words.“—quite horribly, I might add, and yet he insisted on continuing alone today when I left for class. If he’s going to drink more poison whether I like it or not, I’d rather have him do it under supervision.”

Done pleading her case, the Authoress waits for a response. She tilts her head with expectant eyes, a silent repetition of her question.

Activity

[tolpen]

Have a sip! Or don't. (Please do not drink from the bottles, take the wooden soup spoons provided. they are in the tray over there)

The poisons are diluted so that a spoonful should be an effective but not a lethal dose to 90 % of human population. Each bottle is labelled by the fungus the poison came out from (or in a few cases, such as the watered down psilocybin, what fungus it is imitating). There is a variety of the common (fly amanita, ink cap with some alcohol to it, yellow-stainer) to the less common (Devil's bolete - not exactly uncommon but uncommon in the Neath, cobra cap) and several downright esoteric (mirror-button mushroom, blind idiot's sausage).

The antidotes aren't listed on the bottles with poisons. You either know or you can look it up. As always, this is an open-textbook activity and you can work in groups.

Please do not die. That would be awkward. Everything has been done to ensure your safety, after all.

Re: Activity

[theubiquitousguest]

The Scarlet Guest was quite efficient in his examination of poisons and antidotes.

First steps were to note the names, details noted in the books about the sources, and how the toxins appeared in their containers, including thickness and smell. He noted how certain toxins moved, how they clung - or didn't - to the sides of their bottles, how they stuck to fabric and skin (quickly washed off, just in case of osmosis).

Next came tasting. In his notes, the Guest described mouth feel, fore-taste, after-taste, aroma, bitterness or sting. He noted how the grenadine cap felt like it coated the mouth in fuzz, how the ruby veil extract seemed to slide like a snake down the gullet, how the smoking ink cap made the air feel cool like he'd just consumed mint.

After came the description of symptoms as they arose. Dizziness, welts and tumors, breathlessness, weakness in the limbs, unable to feel the skin, feeling the skin too much, blindness. Each symptom was noted with the utmost clarity and detail, up until he no longer had the ability to write. Then he would grab the antidote prepared and wait for the ability to write again to note the final symptoms of the toxin as well as the mouth feel, flavor, effects, and common names of the antidote as well as where to find them, if they were available in the wild.

This repeated quite a few times, the Guest wearing down physically and mentally with each step too close to the border of semi-eternal sleep. He kept a bin handy for any bodily purging events, but kept taking longer and longer breaks between toxins. This was getting exhausting...

Re: Activity

[theliedpiper]

"I believe I promised you my services as a taste tester," Piper said, bowing overdramatically to Tailor. "Is there any poison you're particularly curious about? If not, may I recommend the fly amanita? It's quite the classic."

They're putting on their best fake-posh accent, like they imagine a fancy waiter would sound like. (They wouldn't know. They don't go to any fancy restaurants.) It's very silly.

Re: Activity

[bookwizard]

This would hardly be the first time that the Persistent Professor had been poisoned, but also not the first time he'd deliberately imbibed poison (albeit the latter was far less common than the distressingly common former). He took out his notebook and selected the closest wine bottle to his seat, and poured a spoonful of the contents. Taking careful notes on the colour, scent, viscosity, and any other pertinent characteristics, he then downed the entire spoonful. It tasted...actually, not bad. In fact, it tasted rather like wine. Greyfields '83, if he wasn't mistaken.

No...no, he was, in fact, mistaken, if the sudden burning sensation in his stomach was any indication. Wincing and trying not to show his discomfort, the Professor made his way to the antidotes and began to pour them out into their respective spoons, looking for something that might be a match. His hands were shaking only a bit.

Re: Activity

[ticktopis_observatorium]

Poisons! The Professor is utterly delighted by this activity, although it isn't one they partake in often. Health is a precious thing, and thus to be preserved with care and respect... As a general rule, with its correspondently sanctioned exceptions, of course.

This is one such exciting case! So exciting in fact that they'll get to a little challenge: Sampling the poisons blindly, seeing if they're capable of deducing given the symptoms which one they consumed, and thus which antidote will be more adequate. Yet they're not willing to give their beloved Mycologist trouble by having him deal with a corpse during his classes, so they make a solemn promise to acknowledge defeat with enough anticipation.

Rules set, subject ready, spoon held and samples at reach: Go!

First Sample: Pleasant meaty taste, more on the rare end, light orange in color and with a texture of non-coagulated gelatin. They don't recall tasting something quite like this before, so exciting! Oh, now comes an iron aftertaste... Wait, no, that's their own blood in their mouth. And on their lips? Their vision is turning read and breathing is becoming hard too. Blood runs down their fingers as well, their ears ring... These poisons truly metabolize quickly, they'll have to comment the teacher how nicely done this is. But now they know what this is! Phlebomyces alistairicus, the 'Mad Doctor's Bane'! Such a potent vasodilator the capillary endotelium opens and just releases unfiltered blood everywhere. Usually a slow, terrifying and mostly painless way to die, but today's assignment means it is no longer slow, so quickly they reach for the (hopefully also increased in metabolic rate) extract of adrenal gland and take a triple-dose. When dealing with this toxin the only way is enduring the bleeding with extreme vasopression and hope for the best.

It takes some moments of rest and trying not to bleed all over the lab (task only partially successful), but finally the bleeding stops. Now all their carefully designed scales are smeared crimson, as well as most of their clothes... That's what you get for not looking at the label. Let's try again!

Second Sample: Crunchy, eathy, and moreish taste (how can a fluid be crunchy?), grey in color, as if biting an apple- Bwim featem zo koupb… Ib im az ewbgakb dgol Lukog mkwineizjwyboz'm mjogem, afmo vzocz am 'Kaubioz'm Izbegjgebeg Lofk'! A tegy gage bo dizk jagamibe bo Kwegbajjfe bgeem, ib afbegm fazsuase jegkejbioz azk ewjgemmioz izbo mbgazse, molebilem koljfebefy zec doglm azk ib im maik bo pe a gibuafimbik mupmbazke umep iz lymbegioum gibem dgol bwe adogelezbiozek Jgempybegabe viz kol. zoz-febwaf yeb jeglazezb iz ibm eddekbm (bzum wiswfy izkoz eziezb) uzfemm yeb azobweg kome im izsembek, bwe bo iz peizs ibm ocz kuge- And there, solved!

This one was fun! They'll have to get their hands in a bottle of this sometime. Experimenting with language and understanding is always a worthy endeavor.

Third Sample: Cold and tasteless, actually it makes the tongue numb- (The Chimeric Professor's thoughts are interrupted due to them passing out and promptly falling unconscious to the floor. They wake up in but a few seconds, trying to shakingly stand up) Vagal syncope, understood. And moving is so damn difficult right now... Move a finger is like moving an arm, moving the arm is like pulling your whole weight up with it. And it's progressing too fast to stop and think on what this is! Where's the Wild and Domesticated Mushrooms of London...? Ah, there, straight towards the 'Poison Identification For Dummies" chapter because, as the text plainly says, if you have to identify which poison did you ingest right after ingesting it you are a dummy at least, but most likely a fool.

Each page felt like holding Moses' stone tablets but, thanks perhaps to foresight or maybe hindsight, paralysis-inducing toxins are among the first. This seems caused by the toxin from Pseudocamellia amicus, 'The Good Friend's Teabag', due to its fruiting bodies ressembling upside-down teabags and being incredibly deadly when infused in water. Its antidote being milk thistle extract (also called 'Saint Mary's thistle', funny that) and wait for the liver to stop kicking your guts in outrage...

Oof... Perhaps it'll be better to listen to one's liver and kidneys and dispense with the fourth dose, shall we? This has been an illuminating enough experience thank you very much. Let's write down the rest and theorize possible outcomes, yes. The mind does not suffer nearly as much as the body when given poisons...

After Class

[tolpen]

A small plate (a saucer, really) of pickled ginger is offered to cleanse your palates and mouths of the last traces of the toxins' tastes.

Time to ehad home and have dinner? No?

Re: After Class

[theanachronistictailor]

While they're surprisingly eager to head out just as abruptly as the Tailor had rushed in, they do hold back a few moments this evening, if only to catch the Devil quickly. He's with the Maven, of course, but they take no umbrage with it. No reason to, of course, nor any reason to not appreciate their happiness. It was a better proposal than the other one they'd been witness to, after all.

(The thought leaves a sour taste in their mouth, despite not having partaken in the activity.)

"Congrats again, you two," they say in a quiet voice, trying for a smile. "Jane, mind if I borrow him a moment? It'll be brief. Nothing of real consequence." The smile prevailed- became a nearly sheepish grin. "Holiday stuff." Perfect excuse.

Re: After Class

[bookwizard]

The Professor took a look at the saucer of pickled ginger and suppressed a wince. Instead, he removed a silver hip flask from one pocket and took a hearty slug of the spirits within. Now that was more of a palate cleanser! He shook his head slightly as the potent potable made its way down his esophagus and mingled with the various poisons and antidotes that he'd been imbibing for the past hour.

The entire process had left him feeling rather queasy, but not as bad as he expected. Granted, he'd had to resort to using the Shapeling Arts a couple of times to make a few key adjustments to his digestive tract, as he had no desire for a game of chess with the Boatman tonight; instead, he had other, more pressing engagements to attend to.

Still, today's class had certainly been educational. The Professor glanced at his notepad. The first page of today's notes was in his neat, precise handwriting. As more pages of notes were added, the writing became increasingly shaky and correspondingly less legible as he'd imbibed more and more of the fungal toxins. He frowned at his notes, unsure of some of the words that he'd written. Ah, well, there would be plenty of time to puzzle it out later. What he needed now was a large cup of tea and a good night's sleep. Hopefully, any long-onset toxins wouldn't prove too...inconvenient.

Re: After Class

[ticktopis_observatorium]

Too intense a poison-tasting class this has been. The Professor felt compelled to abandon the classroom swiftly after it was over. Too much to do and too much effort to dedicate to it, a good long rest will be needed after this.

OOC

[tolpen]

This is probably the weirdest class of the set, and one I knew from the beginning we would be doing. I sort of wanted to push in sooner, but also... Well, I gotta time the weird things.

Anyway, this is your time to make up some poisons. Or if you have a knowledge of poisons, you can truly shine now here. (and of course, you can also do both or neither.)

In entirely different news, this is going to be the last class written this year. Benthic ceases classes for the winter holidays because nearly all teachers are (Anglican) Christians, and also I am very likely to be overwhelmed by doing a running lap around my relatives all over the state. If I somehow weasel out fo that, I am planning to be too busy playing Pathologic and ESO

Fun fact: I've bought two books as reading material for the Selected Chapters from Subterranean Mycology. I've opened none of them so far.

Re: OOC

[theliedpiper]

WOOOO POISONS

happy holidays friends I will also be very busy with driving places and whatnot. Travelling is a pain